nespresco

I woke up this morning with an urge to traverse the downtown scene when the people are out there the most: lunchtime!
It began from simple boredom and the understanding that downtown must of course hold the key to curing anyone's boredom. It's simple, inexpensive, and healthy entertainment too. All I had to do was drive downtown, get out of my car, and start walking, and the entertainment began immediately. We didn't have to buy anything (except when we did get a little hungry and stopped in for a lamb gyro on Fayetteville Street) and by the time we returned to our car we had walked from North West Street to Moore Square and back again- about 2 miles of sidewalking for our bodies.
All the construction down there is quite exciting as well. I hadn't walked down there during the daylight hours since before the construction boom began, and everything really does look different. In a few years a lot of the gaps and flat stretches will be filled with --hopefully-- interesting architectural feats. I took pictures along the way of the old buildings and churches with their ornate decorations as well as the newest arrivals to our skyline.
At the beginning of our walk we were a little disoriented. Traversing a land by foot gives someone a much different perspective of the land- we're not bounded by the asphalt roadways. In fact, walking one block at a time at a much slower pace than zipping by in the car made me more aware of my location so that I have a much better mental map of the land and will be able to direct myself through traffic by car as well.
The walk itself was interesting. We felt like tourists in our own city. Sometimes we were the youngest on the street, sometimes the richest, sometimes the whitest. It's a place to work, to people-watch (there's definitely enough benches and stoops to relax on), to eat (from Chick-fil-A to Fins), to party (everything turns into a bar at night), but Raleigh is missing one vital component-- a place to shop. There are a few boutiques or convenience stores here and there, but for the most part downtown is not a place to stay to shop. In fact, after eating our gyro we wanted to go shopping, and so naturally headed back to our car.

The exploration was over for the time being...

pico vs. island trees needs desperately to bring back the bongos to their shows.
for me, the bongos were the only thing that kept me coming. that and the cute boys on stage... but now?
At least tonight's show had a unique opening band, "Exit Clov"
these two cute little itty bitty asian sisters rocking out with some other white boys on stage. someone said they had anti-semitic lyrics, but I think they must have just misheard them or something. can you imagine little asian girls telling the jews to go back to israel?

that's all for tonight.

I stood out on jordan lake in the freezing wind chill last night. at first i was pretty disappointed about the shots I was getting, but whne you put them all together next to each other they look pretty cool.
For my first time shooting the moon I think it came out pretty good. The wind was a killer, I couldn't get a steady shot for the life of me. Even on a tripod standing in the way of the wind it still seemed to rattle my camera :( Next time I'll try to surround myself with trees behind or something.
The next lunar eclipse is like 5am in August, and then January 2008 high in the sky. i'll know what to expect then!

Can I just quit school and just take pretty pictures for the rest of my life? It's all I seem to be doing these days. I don't even really do anything school-related except go to class, and sometimes read something for class ahead of time.
Most of my time this week is going towards meetings and photoshoots for Kaleidoscope magazine, shoots for Rival magazine, photoshoots for fun such as this one with Jenna, and most of all my time-- editing all these photos.
I'm learning so much about editing, it's so much fun. I even look up new techniques on the internet and ask my flickr friends for advice.
I just love this shit so much :)

I just need to breath. luckily, i've been home this evening able to just do nooooothing. by nothing I mean clean the bathroom and kitchen and my room and make dinner and entertain my sister and listen to music I downloaded and never had the time to listen to.
Music... that brings me to a strange connection of events including work and friends.
I got to go to Jay's show with the boys last week, which was long, but a good dose of what I had been missing the past year. And then I started my new job at Memorial Hall on Tuesday, starting off with the Nickel Creek concert all decked out in formal-wear. Of course ran into a bunch of people I knew by seating everyone in the balcony. I worked Wednesday night too, but it was for that terrible lecture about how "GREAT" the No Child Left Behind Act is... so I spent my time studying for my first test of the semester. Yesterday I got up early to study for a few hours at the library for my geography test, took that, when to another orientation for work (about how to be professional and take advantage of the opportunity etc etc), then headed back over to memorial for the Sufjan Stevens show! yay!
I was first stationed at the right front row exit door with a nice security guard (who told me his life story including touring with his FRIENDS Tori Amos & Alison Krauss, sweet!) all the way until Sufjan started. So I got to stand there at the front row and chatted with friends that saw me there during intermission. And right after intermission they switched me out and put me inside the front doors of the auditorium next to the sound board to just sort of... help people to their seats if they needed it (nobody wanted my help). Consequently, I had a great view of the entire show, and saw the lead singer of Pico with his girlfriend as everyone was walking out. And I thought, HEY what happened to Pico, anyways. As it turns out they just got back from LA recording their latest album (which I can't wait to hear).
So work is great.... i really love it, and the people are so nice. the only thing is the pay isn't top-notch whatsoever, so I hope I get some more work with John in October & November (i wanna be able to buy christmas presents!)

As much as I like my job, and I do look forward to it... i'm really not used to being this busy and all week I just felt like I was losing my mind, i don't feel like I actually was living my own life, but was being held prisoner in someone else's body and had to act out their schedule for them. i hope it's not always like this... especially since i start volunteering next week too. I'm only scheduled to work 2 days next weekend so that should help too (but i want more hours!)

tomorrow i'm studying, going to a party with Eric Saturday night, and Sunday i'm meeting up with mom & going on some errands at southpoint, then yoga class with Rianna. a WELL NEEDED yoga class. I was pretty pissed off that I physically did not have time to go to yoga class or the gym, i really needed that to keep the endorphins going, but i did not.

another full week later. is it fall break yet?? ...just kidding :)

I need a benefactor to develop my slide film from Italy.

it is already 7pm.... 7:13pm in fact.... and all of the sudden i have much to keep me busy.
1. watch 4th episode of Lost Season 2 so that i can...
2. watch 2nd DVD of Lost Season 2 that arrived in the mail today... while I...
3. eat lots of mexican crumbling cheese to reduce my tension and...
4. edit portraits of William since he wrote the nicest things about me. which leads me to...
5. write a testimonial to him just as fabulous as his.

6. (is not as relevant, pleasurable, or exciting) read for homework

oh, and 7. Nine pm swim at the pool

Meet Brenda (Brendana in spanish, because she is from El Salvador).
I went on my first paying photoshoot with a model yesterday. I was pretty nervous about it since there was so much hype from the client about not being satisfied with the last photographer and her being from New York and bringing us gift bags and whatnot.
Not to mention the fact that I was shooting the model FIRST, and ALONE for the first 30 minutes, without any direction from the client, the model, or John.
But I got up there, Brenda was probably just as nervous as I was, and she was young and really nice. She really opened up a little more once it was just me and her in the room, and I think I got some shots she actually likes. Hurrah for that!
As nervous as I was at first, I had a blast. I got to be creative and in control, and she would excitedly do what I told her to. Yeah, the lighting sucked only having a flash on my camera and hotel lights and no directional light from the windows, but somehow they came out not too horrible. The environment sucked too.... since there were just white walls, ugly art with ugly frames, horrible green carpet, and not a lot of room.
So.... I'm really excited about it all now that it's over. I just keep on building more confidence putting myself in situations that I assume I will fail in, but come out JUST FINE in the end. and I just really enjoy myself, ahhh :)
I can't wait until our next photoshoot!

Diana. Two weeks ago I had never seen her before. A week ago, I only had a mere photograph of her. Today, I still don't know her, but the success of her portrait has become increasingly important to me. And why is that success important to me? Because everyone tells me to "find what you love to do and do it well, so that you can do it the rest of your life."
I'm in my prime, I'm young and impressionable. I feel more comfortable and at peace taking photographs (especially of people) and developing them into pieces of art as I see fit than just about anything else I have attempted to do in life. With this portrait challenge, I first discovered while shooting that there is no doubt in my mind that photographing people is what I love to do, and second found the confidence I need to believe that I may actually be doing it well.

I just have trouble attaching words to images. I know that I love doing this, but I can't say exactly why. Why do I photograph everything? (I have a terrible memory, otherwise I would forget it all). Why do I photograph objects? Why do I photograph people that I don't know? ( I know that my interest in psychology comes into play somewhere here; peoples' behaviors, personalities, and problems truly interest me) Then again, I am interested in psychology probably because of my interest in my own problems, behaviors and personality, trying to understand myself. The people I most enjoy photographing are the people I either wish to be, can identify with, or just plain think are beautiful. The more I understand about other people, the more I understand about myself. The more I can photograph the true, beautiful quality of another person, the better I can see the beauty and truth in myself.
But is that true?
At Diana's age, I would have loved to have had a portrait like that of myself. In fact, each photograph from that Saturday was like a snapshot of their life at that moment. Diana is probably not an only child anymore, as she is in this photograph. Matthew will always remember the distress of coming home from the marines that day (whether he wants to remember it or not). Emily will remember the smile on her face and how these strangers made her day by making her feel so welcome in her first hours in America.

And I amost wish I had someone to spontaneously, unannounced, come into my life and take a snapshot of a random moment in my life.

Nobody powered their nose, brushed their hair, or changed their clothes before their portrait, and each and every one of them look beautiful. Maybe I just love to make people look beautiful, as I see them.

My team got 5 photographs in the top 50%, and I got 21st, 13th, and 1st place images. Go me! and us! It was such a tough group!!!!!

tonight was just amazing. like, no words can describe really. not many events have such a powerful way of uplifting my spirits and making me feel good about myself.
good fun. good people. fun.
i guess this just means i've found my passion.... not that i didn't know this before.
so exciting! oh the possibilities.

so my job is great, i'm not complaining at all. it's the perfect hours, and i'm watching the best kids i could really ask for. the only thing is that they're so good most of the time that they entertain themselves for hours, can pretty much take care of themselves, and when they can't their older sister takes care of it. so pretty much i'm just at this house for 7 hours a day just to drive them somewhere they want to go (and in 3 days we've only left the house once, and that was because I insisted on going to the pool) or call 911 if something REALLY horrible happens... leaving me kind of wondering how to entertain MYSELF when the kids are still SLEEPING for 2 hours, or watching cartoons or playing video games.
So far i've been bringing my laptop since they have wireless in the house, watching the morning news and movies on TV, and reading a lot... but somehow I feel like there's something more productive to accomplish while sitting on a couch for 7 hours a day.
It just hasn't occurred to me yet.

for Aura's birthday my parents got a hotel room down the street so we could spend the day at the nice pool and hot tub they had there. We were there from about 4pm-4pm, spending the whole day at the pool except for the time we went to the room to sleep, and when my mom went to go check-out, the lady at the desk apologized greatly for there not being any hot water in our room that morning, so she just gave us the room for free.
Umm... awesome. none of us even noticed the lack of hot water... probably since we never showered. I love when little things like that happen, hehe :)

gosh, we lost the game, on the first night that I watched a game. And it would have been the perfect party situation to WIN the stanley cup.... but no.
SO CLOSE! and all gone in a second. try again, try again.
kinda funny having a hurricanes game on a day a tropical storm blew through here.

I was just driving home from North Hills, stopped at a stoplight when the car with tinted windows rolls down its window and the really nice-looking 24 year old black guy in the car looks over at me and says, "hey, what's your name?"
me: "Carlee..."
him: "did you go to enloe?"
me: "yea...what's your name?"
him: "Alex. what year did you graduate?"
me: "04, you?
him: "ohhh 2000, you just look like someone I knew that I went to school with. do you have a sister or something?"
me: "younger, haha. oh well"

--and the light turned green, and we drove off--

but i'm slowly making it smaller and smaller



create your own visited countries map
or vertaling Duits Nederlands

apparently VERY slowly

I ate dinner here last night. Our friend was house sitting for the ex-CFO of Progress Energy, and she invited us over for some evening dining and fun. We brought over some food to the house and made dinner in the kitchen about the size of half our house. There was Viking EVERYTHING (stove, oven, microwave, refrigerator, wine cooland GRILL), so dad got to grill some chicken and sausage on that giant machine. For our wine, we headed over to the bar where they kept all their glasses, and a separate freezer for ice. After dinner we chose to watch a DVD from their collection instead of taking a swim in the huge heated pool. We watched the movie in the home-theater room in the basement, which included a selection of movie-candy (mom got an ice cream bar, I had my raisinettes, dad had his milk duds, etc). Mom and I are defiitely going back there sometime this week for some rich-lifestyle fun.

traumatic day at the hospital with a 2, 5, and 10 year old
more later.

"give him some wine and see what happens" - Rianna

i'm back in America!!!! wooahhh.
food again, ya?